Wednesday, May 31, 2006


What exactly happens when you watch a bad movie ?

This is an age old question which has been answered in several different ways, in order to convey one common reaction. The various things that can possibly occur precisely after watching a bad movie are:

1. Immediate realization of loss of money
2. Generation of strong feelings of regret by the lower left part of the brain
3. Immediate response by the facial muscles by unknowingly sporting an uncanny & sarcastic smile, often showing off your teeth a bit more than usual
4. Sudden outburst of irrelevant humor from your very own mouth, probably about the movie you just saw
5. Uncontrollable wish to gnaw at your own hand in a bout of desperation (its almost always the same hand that was used for buying the tickets)
6. Sudden feeling of emptiness while walking down the flight of stairs out of the cinema hall's premises
7. Occasional use of foul language, which you normally wouldn't use
8. And my favorite, Spontaneous Brain Damage

What does spontaneous brain damage actually mean ?

There were times in the history of human civilization, when there have been a few occasions which resulted into this very rare but actual phenomenon. Similarly there have been more than a few occasions in my life as well where I was blessed by this rare event, always front row, center seat. It is not humanly possibly to monitor this intricate process, as it occurs so fast that it fries up some neurons due to the heat that it generates.

There are quite a few places where this phenomenon can occur:

1. Cinema Halls
2. A class about to graduate from my college
3. Over crowded local trains with a potential to go extra slow
4. Cars stuck in pot holes
5. Open house at school
6. An extra long wedding ceremony, where the food is already waiting at the buffet & you cant eat just yet
7. Computer Lab where you have to teach an IT sophomore how to shut down a PC

The beauty of this phenomenon is that it can be readily observed, yet cant be monitored on a constant basis. It can only last from 3 seconds to 10 seconds. Yet it shows tremendous symptoms in that amount of time.

The symptoms are:

1. Sudden loss of breath
2. Tightening of the jaw muscles
3. Occasional grinding of teeth
4. Neuron genocide (mostly suicidal)
5. Losing focus
6. Dilation of pupils
7. Sudden itch on the chest, just below the heart (might indicate heart failure, who knows? )
8. Look of massive irritation, usually with funny eyebrow movement
9. Short steps than usual, walking seems to be a formality
10. Celestial happenings like, sudden unexpected rainfall

If in case you observe any of the afore mentioned symptoms, my friends, you might have just observed the rarest event in the history of human civilization.

Song for the moment: System of a Down - Chop Suey

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