There is a fine line between faith, enthusiasm & noise. Sometimes this line is maintained effectively but most of the times it’s crossed over & over again.
Let’s focus,
In the current Ganpati fever / festival, this line was non existent. So far the faith is concerned, we as Indians have it, by the Kilo. Thus the roots of this festive enthusiasm can be traced from faith. What about the noise?
Day 1, August 27th 2006:
We usually get the ganpati idol a night before the actual festival begins; this makes it easier to decorate the whole place around the idol. But mostly it is because it’s been a tradition since the past decades or so. On the first day, we all wake up (excluding me) way too early in the morning to prepare for the festivities. I usually wake up an hour after everyone’s up & running. This time, bang at 7 in the morning, the most deafening noise of the whole century emerges from the background, while I am still in bed. The rattling of drum sticks on the plastic surface of the drums along with gongs & bigger drums, coupled with a huge amount of fire crackers. Obviously I know it’s a festival & its time to cheer, but its definitely not the time to rip open your ear drums. I woke up with that bang still getting registered in my consciousness. I tried to figure out in a moment of morning reflex, what the whole noise was about. After acknowledging that it’s the same old time of the year when people choose to believe that they are only ones alive on the earth & their drums should beat the loudest on the street. The source of the sound was from the nearby building where there were plenty of shops selling ganpati idols. Above that shop is a hospital. But hey, who gives a fuck if the patient dies of that noise or even gets bothered by it? Patients have no right getting bothered these days. There is a small broken sign board at the end of the street, which still hangs on the crooked pole, saying, “No Honking Zone”. But it seems they found a clear loophole as they used drums on this sacred occasion.
This goes on till 1030 hrs, as after that the auspicious time to setup the ganpati idol fades away. Never the less the drummers are still practicing innovative tunes & beats on their huge drums to blow their own ears off.
And what’s with the crackers anyway?
Day 2, August 28 2006:
It was the day when the ganpati’s destined to depart after one & a half days decide to leave. To leave is an understatement but we will come back to it later. I venture a trip outside to see what’s happening at the end of the street. There was a huge crowd, which was expected. I went closer to see the ganpati idol; I came dangerously close to one of the super charged drummers. At this point I smelt it. He was high, beyond any human rationality left in his brain. He was drunk, maybe beyond his wildest dreams from the cash he had earned on the day before. Then a bunch of 30 year olds who were carrying these boxes of crackers appeared out of nowhere. I hope they had a long night or either a late morning. With their eyes as red as crimson & their voice as hoarse as a horse, they spoke to each other in different levels of profanities. I suppose when you drink for a whole night there is no difference between ganpati & diwali. The noise continues, the nurses from the hospital smile at the parade of irrational ducks, although the smile was not a sarcastic one but of enjoyment. The patients still don’t have the right to be bothered.
Rest of the days:
Everyday there is someone or the other whose ganpati departs & these drummers get paid for making as much noise as they can. Has this become a competition that your ganpati went with a bigger bang that your neighbor’s?
Day 5, 31 August 2006:
The ganpati at my place decides to depart, not on his own, but because of the age old tradition that the ganpati has followed throughout the Onkar generations. I had registered my disgust a year ago when my parents clearly forgot to get a eco friendly idol when they had brought home a plaster idol with chemical paint. This year, same thing, I showed my disgust again. The other eco friendly idols are made of clay & mud & are painted using water base colors, good enough for the environment after they disintegrate in the water. Our idol, was a truck load of chemical paint sprayed on the plaster mould. It hurts me to say that our idol was successful in polluting the waters of the thane creek, inspite of substitute idols being available. No amount of guilt, charity or attending eco friendly drives can make me feel better about it.
The evening at the shore of the creek. I like to call it “The Organized Pollution Camp”. No amount of logic will ever make me believe the sanctity of this festival after being at that place on this day. I stood there watching our ganpati idol being taken away from the hands of my dad on a small raft made of wood so that they can immerse it away from the shore. A family who followed us also gave away their idol. 25 feet away from us, was this huge dustbin to collect the flowers from the idols or to even throw away the flowers used during the whole festival. The head of the family, dressed in custom made formals & loaded with a thick gold chain, refused to speak in marathi with his 15 year old daughter & 8 year old son & used English instead to make them believe the cause of the action that he was about to do. He pulled out this finest polythene bag I had ever seen stuffed with flowers from the past five days I suppose. Instead of walking a bit to the dump truck, he decides to fling the bag as far as he can into the water. “Excellent”, I said that with a disgusted look on my face staring at him. He glanced at me, smiled & left with his bunch. Education completely failed to uninstall his superstitions & install some logic up his cranium.
The real purpose:
Long long time ago, a wise guy named Bal Gangadhar Tilak, popularly known as Lokmanya Tilak, initiated the festival of ganpati in order to reunite the common marathi man in a just cause. This was a very revolutionary thought considering the stress of the Indian War of Independence. One member of a particular family would have the ganpati idol at his place, then rest of the family & friends would come to visit his place. Apart from the getting-everyone-together motive, Tilak chose religion & faith in order to breed unity among the masses, because he knew very well, nothing sells better than, sex, religion & Shahrukh Khan.
But this isn’t a fucking business, which people have made it now. People have become oblivious of the real purpose of Ganpati & all they want to do is to prove, Who can make the bigger bang, Who has the biggest band, Who has the tallest plaster & chemical paint idol, Who flings the bag full of flowers farthest into the open water, Who, Who the fuck cares about nature & the poor patients anyway?
Ganpati Bappa Morya.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Behind Enemy Lines
Sim CAT 1, I was told that it’s an experience. I reached at the venue bang an hour before the reporting time & realized that I should have just taken the slow train instead. I walked up a few minutes from my venue to Mani’s Lunch Home & had some coffee.
Now the thought process begins. What is this exam going to be like? I know it’s difficult, but how bad would it be? How much of a score is a good score for Sim CAT 1? I said to myself,” A simulation is just meant to make you acquainted with the reality of where you stand in the crowd.”
Amongst these thoughts I walked back to the venue which had a huge crowd at its gate by now. So I glanced at everyone’s eager faces. Some of them were memorizing formulae, some smiling about how they are going to get screwed!! Some of them even trying to console their friends about how good this is going to be & ending up having that constipated look on their face, they know its not going to be easy. Me as usual, standing on the side walk looking at these faces. Personally I feel the look on my face symbolized only one thought, “The hand that holds the bamboo up your ass has the ability to shake it vigorously”. So I was just sporting the CAUTIOUS look, which has a perfect blend of sweat on my forehead along with some eye brow movement which no one can deduce even with extreme mathematical equations.
This was the first time, first ever time, I was face to face with the Enemy. Considering many of those are good friends of mine, by enemy I mean, pure competition. This was my first ever step into enemy territory. Till now I have been living in a Demilitarized Zone (DMZ), but now, the phase was on “KILL”.
I was all geared up, pencils, eraser, a sharpener & even my id card. The weapons of mass destruction, I thought. But I didn’t realize what was about to happen in the next 2 & half hours.
It was going to change my way of looking at me for the rest of my life. It was the best possible way to humiliate myself in front of half the CATizens across India with my pathetic little score summing up the lower layers of the percentile.
After the exam I came out with a smile, the smile that I, for the first time felt embarrassed about. There was no purpose having a smile at that moment. It was all over. It was all done. I couldn’t manage to end up with a 2 digit score. By my standards that’s a fucking shame. Although I realized that this was no time to show my real feelings on my face, deep down I knew how sorry I was supposed to be.
On the bright side, I never thought there was a bright side. With my constant cynicism these days, I had long forgotten the bright side of things. I decided to work on a strategy. In Richard Dawkins’ terms, an evolutionary stable strategy. Out of the DMZ, into the battle field, I had to prove I can atleast get a 2 digit score. I knew then, I seriously need to change the way I study, revamp the whole process & redo every concept. Every single page I read in the past 3 months hadn’t worked at all. I was falling back somewhere, I saw my flaws looking at me point blank. I decided to work.
I thought the only thing that can cheer me up at the moment was to asses my test performance, although I am supposed to ideally spend 8 hours understanding the Sim CAT 1 according to IMS & its solution n evaluating myself on its basis, I decided to get started right away, as long as it may take. There were holes in my logic even bigger than potholes on Gupte road.
What better time than this, can say….
“The fault dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves”
Now the thought process begins. What is this exam going to be like? I know it’s difficult, but how bad would it be? How much of a score is a good score for Sim CAT 1? I said to myself,” A simulation is just meant to make you acquainted with the reality of where you stand in the crowd.”
Amongst these thoughts I walked back to the venue which had a huge crowd at its gate by now. So I glanced at everyone’s eager faces. Some of them were memorizing formulae, some smiling about how they are going to get screwed!! Some of them even trying to console their friends about how good this is going to be & ending up having that constipated look on their face, they know its not going to be easy. Me as usual, standing on the side walk looking at these faces. Personally I feel the look on my face symbolized only one thought, “The hand that holds the bamboo up your ass has the ability to shake it vigorously”. So I was just sporting the CAUTIOUS look, which has a perfect blend of sweat on my forehead along with some eye brow movement which no one can deduce even with extreme mathematical equations.
This was the first time, first ever time, I was face to face with the Enemy. Considering many of those are good friends of mine, by enemy I mean, pure competition. This was my first ever step into enemy territory. Till now I have been living in a Demilitarized Zone (DMZ), but now, the phase was on “KILL”.
I was all geared up, pencils, eraser, a sharpener & even my id card. The weapons of mass destruction, I thought. But I didn’t realize what was about to happen in the next 2 & half hours.
It was going to change my way of looking at me for the rest of my life. It was the best possible way to humiliate myself in front of half the CATizens across India with my pathetic little score summing up the lower layers of the percentile.
After the exam I came out with a smile, the smile that I, for the first time felt embarrassed about. There was no purpose having a smile at that moment. It was all over. It was all done. I couldn’t manage to end up with a 2 digit score. By my standards that’s a fucking shame. Although I realized that this was no time to show my real feelings on my face, deep down I knew how sorry I was supposed to be.
On the bright side, I never thought there was a bright side. With my constant cynicism these days, I had long forgotten the bright side of things. I decided to work on a strategy. In Richard Dawkins’ terms, an evolutionary stable strategy. Out of the DMZ, into the battle field, I had to prove I can atleast get a 2 digit score. I knew then, I seriously need to change the way I study, revamp the whole process & redo every concept. Every single page I read in the past 3 months hadn’t worked at all. I was falling back somewhere, I saw my flaws looking at me point blank. I decided to work.
I thought the only thing that can cheer me up at the moment was to asses my test performance, although I am supposed to ideally spend 8 hours understanding the Sim CAT 1 according to IMS & its solution n evaluating myself on its basis, I decided to get started right away, as long as it may take. There were holes in my logic even bigger than potholes on Gupte road.
What better time than this, can say….
“The fault dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves”
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
When we miss the window...
I was staring at the ceiling today after the most heavenly evening of my life. During that cold stare at the paint cracks I realized, why isn’t everybody successful? Apart from the very diverse definitions of the word ‘success’, why can’t everyone do well with their lives?
Thinking on the same lines I felt that there must be that ‘one’ thing that keeps this distinction amongst people. Is it “opportunity”? I call it the “window” or even the “next turn”, but it sure does make sense. The only successful people in the world, no matter how smart they are, they will all tell you that the reason for their success, isn’t brains, isn’t people, isn’t influence, but opportunity. In this sarcastic journey called “Our time on earth”, we ought to believe in opportunities more than we believe in god. They are equipped with a v12 Ferrari engine & you would never know when they passed by you till you get caught in their slipstream.
So how do we get to ride this Ferrari? Anticipation doesn’t work as we never know when its going to arrive. Day dreaming doesn’t work again because it isn’t meant to work in the first place. Security alarms & cameras might sound the possible answers but the answer is “time management”.
I thought, my example would be the best to accommodate the entire concept of missing the window. This is surely going make my guilt sensors fire up.
Here I am with a year in my hand, with which I can make a difference in my life. A conclusive difference which will serve me till I die. A difference that will make me successful. But all I do, all day long, is dream. Dream about what I could have been, what I am supposed to be, what have I been through, why have I been through & finally my personal favorite, sleep. So this is my opportunity, this is my stage where I can make them scream for an encore. But all I am upto is nothing. The nothingness is definitely going to prove my missed opportunity. I have 24 hours, I don’t use them & by the end of the day I sulk in my own worthless thought chain about how I could have used this time for me, for my goal, for my window.
So I think this is why everybody isn’t successful. Only those who have the balls to face that oncoming Ferrari @ 200 miles per hour, becomes successful.
Thinking on the same lines I felt that there must be that ‘one’ thing that keeps this distinction amongst people. Is it “opportunity”? I call it the “window” or even the “next turn”, but it sure does make sense. The only successful people in the world, no matter how smart they are, they will all tell you that the reason for their success, isn’t brains, isn’t people, isn’t influence, but opportunity. In this sarcastic journey called “Our time on earth”, we ought to believe in opportunities more than we believe in god. They are equipped with a v12 Ferrari engine & you would never know when they passed by you till you get caught in their slipstream.
So how do we get to ride this Ferrari? Anticipation doesn’t work as we never know when its going to arrive. Day dreaming doesn’t work again because it isn’t meant to work in the first place. Security alarms & cameras might sound the possible answers but the answer is “time management”.
I thought, my example would be the best to accommodate the entire concept of missing the window. This is surely going make my guilt sensors fire up.
Here I am with a year in my hand, with which I can make a difference in my life. A conclusive difference which will serve me till I die. A difference that will make me successful. But all I do, all day long, is dream. Dream about what I could have been, what I am supposed to be, what have I been through, why have I been through & finally my personal favorite, sleep. So this is my opportunity, this is my stage where I can make them scream for an encore. But all I am upto is nothing. The nothingness is definitely going to prove my missed opportunity. I have 24 hours, I don’t use them & by the end of the day I sulk in my own worthless thought chain about how I could have used this time for me, for my goal, for my window.
So I think this is why everybody isn’t successful. Only those who have the balls to face that oncoming Ferrari @ 200 miles per hour, becomes successful.
Monday, August 07, 2006
The Credibility Factor
With age comes wisdom they say, but no one likes wise men. Intelligent & not-so intelligent people alike suffer from a very peculiar psychological disease named as “The Credibility Syndrome”. Some people come to know about it very early in their childhood, which helps them groom themselves towards it, while some numb nuts often ignore the warning bells & live on with a false perception of credibility.
But what is credibility? Why are people so eager to be credible? What makes people go to their wits end to prove they are credible?
Let’s begin from the bottom. As a kid, it doesn’t matter what comes out of your mouth until its foul language or profanity. So kids are often on the safer side when they are judged on the basis of their credibility. But as we grow older, there is this constant demand, looking at you like a panting dog who desperately wants its bone. This demand instills a fear of not being taken seriously by the crowd. By crowd I mean people in general, but I chose that word to make it sound a little dramatic (I know, it’s crazy ;-)).
In your teens, you realize what your body is capable of doing. The raging hormones, the blitz beauty all over, the constant state of confusion, all become precursors to this syndrome. You start thinking in terms of how you can sound more impressive while you talk, even if its plain trash that you are talking. I have personally met a few people who can talk shit & make others listen to it for a staggeringly long time, but I have also met some who open their mouths once in a while like those huge crocodiles & talk sensible stuff & vanish into their own thoughts again. Both are impressive creatures but there is a monumental difference between the two. The shit talker is often inclined in grabbing people’s attention to himself, he likes being the center of attention & makes it a way of life. He comes up with eccentric stuff & entertains people with it (notice the word ‘entertains’). But when it comes to making sense, he is thrown out the window. All this doesn’t matter during your teens & no one even notices it then. The second, rare jaw opening guy, speaks tremendous amount of sense in frequent bouts of conversation. All his words are based on some sort of facts & thus he becomes drab & people tend to ignore him. Thus, no entertainment.
Notice the symbolical difference between the two conditions. It is even said that people don’t grow out of their teenage selves even when they achieve adulthood. Again I can back this up with my personal examples of dudes that I have encountered.
But once you are an adult, people acknowledge your age, your parents don’t, but people do. They start demanding vast amount of intelligence from the words that come out of your mouth. No longer can you talk crap & get away with it. This is a sudden attitude shift. Many people are incapable to cope up with it. The ones who do cope up end up being fairly acceptable by the crowd. The two guys from the teens I told about earlier grow in different ways. Some shit talkers realize when they grow up, how to change themselves & start making sense. Some shit talkers still live in their dream world & assume that people like to listen to what they have to say. The sensible guys are a nervous wreck by now. They are often ignored in social circles back in their teens & have a tremendous fear of rejection. But they eventually make it up & become human again.
So all this brings us back to the credibility syndrome. Credibility is the state of being believed in. In a constantly changing & amazingly creative world, you need to come up with practical thoughts & market them all over, to your benefit. People know what’s good & bad & thus are capable of throwing you in one of those categories. The credibility label is a sure passport to the society where in you can prove what you are actually made of!
Just like the good old authors or great men from the past, whose quotes we use as if they were our own. Imagine the countless number of quotes written by Shakespeare, if he wasn’t taken seriously back then, no one would say “to be or not to be” today. He got his credibility from his work & people have accepted him & his work socially for the same. Same goes with each one of us. We don’t need to be Shakespeare’s to prove that we are credible, but we need to prove that we are credible one way or another.
So “To be or not to be” credible, is the question…..
But what is credibility? Why are people so eager to be credible? What makes people go to their wits end to prove they are credible?
Let’s begin from the bottom. As a kid, it doesn’t matter what comes out of your mouth until its foul language or profanity. So kids are often on the safer side when they are judged on the basis of their credibility. But as we grow older, there is this constant demand, looking at you like a panting dog who desperately wants its bone. This demand instills a fear of not being taken seriously by the crowd. By crowd I mean people in general, but I chose that word to make it sound a little dramatic (I know, it’s crazy ;-)).
In your teens, you realize what your body is capable of doing. The raging hormones, the blitz beauty all over, the constant state of confusion, all become precursors to this syndrome. You start thinking in terms of how you can sound more impressive while you talk, even if its plain trash that you are talking. I have personally met a few people who can talk shit & make others listen to it for a staggeringly long time, but I have also met some who open their mouths once in a while like those huge crocodiles & talk sensible stuff & vanish into their own thoughts again. Both are impressive creatures but there is a monumental difference between the two. The shit talker is often inclined in grabbing people’s attention to himself, he likes being the center of attention & makes it a way of life. He comes up with eccentric stuff & entertains people with it (notice the word ‘entertains’). But when it comes to making sense, he is thrown out the window. All this doesn’t matter during your teens & no one even notices it then. The second, rare jaw opening guy, speaks tremendous amount of sense in frequent bouts of conversation. All his words are based on some sort of facts & thus he becomes drab & people tend to ignore him. Thus, no entertainment.
Notice the symbolical difference between the two conditions. It is even said that people don’t grow out of their teenage selves even when they achieve adulthood. Again I can back this up with my personal examples of dudes that I have encountered.
But once you are an adult, people acknowledge your age, your parents don’t, but people do. They start demanding vast amount of intelligence from the words that come out of your mouth. No longer can you talk crap & get away with it. This is a sudden attitude shift. Many people are incapable to cope up with it. The ones who do cope up end up being fairly acceptable by the crowd. The two guys from the teens I told about earlier grow in different ways. Some shit talkers realize when they grow up, how to change themselves & start making sense. Some shit talkers still live in their dream world & assume that people like to listen to what they have to say. The sensible guys are a nervous wreck by now. They are often ignored in social circles back in their teens & have a tremendous fear of rejection. But they eventually make it up & become human again.
So all this brings us back to the credibility syndrome. Credibility is the state of being believed in. In a constantly changing & amazingly creative world, you need to come up with practical thoughts & market them all over, to your benefit. People know what’s good & bad & thus are capable of throwing you in one of those categories. The credibility label is a sure passport to the society where in you can prove what you are actually made of!
Just like the good old authors or great men from the past, whose quotes we use as if they were our own. Imagine the countless number of quotes written by Shakespeare, if he wasn’t taken seriously back then, no one would say “to be or not to be” today. He got his credibility from his work & people have accepted him & his work socially for the same. Same goes with each one of us. We don’t need to be Shakespeare’s to prove that we are credible, but we need to prove that we are credible one way or another.
So “To be or not to be” credible, is the question…..
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